#471 Kareem Abdul Jabbar x Smashing Pumpkins

Basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar making a short advertisement for the upcoming Smashing Pumpkins record. Talk about an odd couple.

#90 Louis "Satan is King" Armstrong

There's a person called Andy Rehfeldt and I recently ran into his youtube account which is full of funniness. Andy, recreates various classic (yet sometimes not so classic songs) and recreates them in a different musical style. Now this might seem like the kind of thing that can go horrible wrong, but trust me... it's cool as hell.

Here's two of my absolute favorites.

Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World (death metal version)


Metallica - Enter Sandman (smooth jazz version)

#88 Seven Great Moments in Musical History That Helped Spawn a Horrible Genre (part II)

4. Urband Dance Squad - 1989
Hollands finest!
The Urban Dance Squad (from now on UDC) was a Dutch band hailing from the pittoresque city of Utrecht. The UDC was a band that successfully mixed the rock, with the hip hop ever since the late '80's.
Fronted by rapper Rudeboy the band had a pretty good streak especially considering the fact that they... well they were Dutch! I don't think that since the the Golden Earring and besides a lot of Eurohouse (sorry about that) there has been a music group from Holland that gained so much popularity outside of the Netherlands.
It makes me feel somewhat proud.
The singles collection below obviously is a best off. My favorite song: Demagogue


Singles Collection Download.



5. Anthrax and Public Enemy - 1991
Public Enemy and Anthrax seems like an odd combination. That's apparently what Chuck D thought at first as well when Anthrax requested to co-operate on a track. But when Chuckie found out that Scott Ian was wearing PE shirt 24-7 he deiced to give them the benefit of the doubt.

The song basically is Anthrax covering PE's Bring the Noise in their very own thrash metal way. The song has Scott Ian doing some of the rapping on the track and features both Chuck D. doing some of his parts and Flavor Flav throwing in a couple of his trademark "Yeaaaaaahhhh boooooiiii's".

What I've always wondered however is whether Chuck D and the guys knew about Scott Ian's (yes the white dude doing the rapping) side projects. Just one year prior to recording this track Scot worked as a producer, back up vocalist and guitar player for M.O.D.'s debut U.S.A. for M.O.D. An amazingly great thrash record, I'm not to judge, but with slightly "racist" lyrics.
In other words... I think Scott Ian is the first person to be

a. white
b. bald
c. able to use the N-word

while still recording with Public Enemy. Chapeau!





6. Rage Against the machine - RATM 1992
This might mainly be nostalgia, but Rage Against The Machine's self titled 1992 debut is simply great. It has the Led Zep riffage by a guy who can also make his guitar sound like scraching turntables, a pretty good frontman / rapper and an amount of energy that created an earthquake by all the people doing that weird "jump-up and shake your head dance' at Hollands Pinkpop festival in 1993.




7. Judgment Night - 1993
Judgement Night is considered one of the biggest stinkers in cinematic history and even though it had a pretty sweet cast with the likes of Emilio Estevez, Cuba Gooding Junior and Dennis "I'm an Asshole" Leary, it did pretty much stink.
The soundtrack, that initiated collaborations between the 'who's who' in early 90's alternative rock and rap, however is something different. Again this might be nostalgia, but Helmet teaming up with House of Pain and Ice-T teaming up with Slayer should be enough to give any, then 15 year old music minded adolescent, a music boner.

It's not said that that the entire record is great. I mean Boo Ya Tribe (who the fuck are these fat freaks) & Faith No More, if anything is just weird and the Dinosaur Jr and Del The Funky Homo track is the worst of both acts combined.
As a whole this record is amazing and should be downloaded and enjoyed while smoking great amounts of weed and drinking colorful alcoholic beverages.

Download The Judgement Night Soundtrack here.



Goto part 1.

#83 Seven Great Moments in Musical History That Helped Spawn a Horrible Genre (part I)

Some ingredients are better not to be mixed. 7-up and Baileys for example. Drinking this will make your stomach explode apparently.
The same thing can be said about the late '90's and early '00s mixing of rap and rock. The musical landscape, created in that time by such acts as Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park (j'accuse Jay-Z! j'accuse!), Korn and the likes, has been far worse then any other gorrible form of music before.

However, there was a time when mixing rap and rock was actually not that bad, even cool. Here's seven great rap / rock moments that helped spawn aforementioned gorrible genre.


1. The Clash - The Magnificent Seven - 1981
The Magnificent Seven is a Clash single taken from their fourth studio album Sandinista!. A record released in 1981 and recorded in 1980 all over London, Manchester, Jamaica and New York.

Sandinista is as ecletic as the places it was recorded. The record features everything from rock to calypso and yes, songs that combine both rap and rock.

Joe Strummer on rap:

"When we came to the U.S., Mick stumbled upon a music shop in Brooklyn that carried the music of Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five, the Sugar Hill Gang...these groups were radically changing music and they changed everything for us."

How can one not love the Clash. Hear Joe Strummer rap and rhyme here.



2. Blondie - Rapture - 1981

Beat by 6 months by The Clash, Blondie's Rapture might not the first recording mixing both rap and rock, but it is the first one to top the charts. Actually... according to Wikipedia (the source of everything true) Blondie's Rapture was the first single involving rap in general to top the charts, beating Kurtis Blow's 'The Breaks' by just a few weeks.


Blondie - Rapture



3. Run DMC and Aerosmith - 1986
"Walk This Way" has been good for Aerosmith. Very good indeed. Not only provided the original 70's release the band with international fame, when Run DMC decided to cover it on their '86 debut "Raising Hell" it also provided a much needed resurrection in popularity for the band.
In all honesty Run DMC did not exactly cover "Walk This Way". As Wikipedia (again the source for everything true) puts it: " Walk This Way features new vocal and guitar parts by Steven Tyler and Joe Perry of Aerosmith based on their original 1975 recording, as well as a sample of the original drum intro during the second verse."

#37 It Ain't Over Till The Fat Lady Sings (A Battle Royale Of The Worst Singers Ever).

In the wonderful world of weird music a lot of "bad" music has been recorded. This post is about three of history's worst female singers. I'm not talking about women that sing under the shower (like yo momma!) but actual artists who've performed on stage and have recorded at least one actual album.


Singer number one:
Elva Ruby Connes was born on October 5th 1907 and died in 1997. Elva Ruby Connes is better know under her stage name Mrs. Miller. She was an American singer who's voice has been compared to the sound of "roaches scurrying across a trash can lid."

In 1934 Mrs. Miller moved to Claremont, California together with her husband, appropriately called Mr. Miller.
She had long been an aspiring singer, having performed here and there with local choirs and recording 45" cuts for friends and family (Mr. Miller apparently had quite some extra cash lying around).
At one point a young pianist by the name of Fred Bock noticed her special singing qualities and invited her to record a demo version of Petula Clark's "Downtown". The result, to say the least, was rather interesting and Capitol Records bigwig Lex de Azevedo saw financial potential and oversaw the recording of Mrs. Miller's debut "Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits".

Within a period of 18 months Mrs. Miller attained unbelievable fame and "Mrs. Miller’s Greatest Hits", filled with contemporary pop covers, sold over 250.000 copies within 3 weeks. As a result she went on a nation wide promo tour making various appearances on TV and radio shows. A rare live recording from that time can be found here.

Mrs. Miller: Downtown.


Mrs. Miller - Greatest Hits
1. Downtown
2. The Shadow Of Your Smile
3. A Hard Day's Night
4. Dear Heart
5. Chim Chim Cher-ee
6. These Boots Are Made For Walkin'
7. A Lover's Concerto
8. Let's Hang On
9. Catch A Falling Star
10. Gonna Be Like That
11. My Love

Download - Buy



Singer number two:
Singer number two went by the name of Florence Foster Jenkins, who graced the earth between 1868 and 1944 (yes when I'm talking history's worst singers I mean history's worst singers). Florence Jenkins was an American soprano who became famous for her complete lack of rhythm, pitch and tone... pretty much all things you need to be a singer.

Florence Foster Jenkins was born from very wealthy parents in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania around 1868. At a very early age she demonstrated the desire to become a singer but her parents objected due to the excruciating quality of her voice and would not support such a career choice.
After her father passed away when she was 39, she inherited a fairly large sum of money which acquired her the freedom to persue her long life dream of becoming a vocalist.

She moved to Philadelphia (and later New York) and became involved in the musical life in both city's. She founded (and funded) the Verdi Club, took singing lessons, and began giving recitals. She gained tremendous popularity in her unconventional way. Her audiences apparently loved her for the amusement she provided rather than her musical ability.

In her lifetime Jenkins recorded nine aria's of five 78's which have been re-released on three CD's.

Florence Foster Jenkins: Die Zauberflöte Der Hölle Rache (Mozart).


Florence Foster Jenkins - The Glory (????) of the Human Voice
1. Mozart : Die Zauberflöte/La flûte enchantée: (Queen Of The Night Aria)
2. Liadoff: The Musical Snuff-Box
3. McMoon: Like A Bird
4. Delibes: Lakme: Où va la jeune Hindoue? (Bell Song)
5. McMoon: Serenata Mexicano
6. David: La Perle du Brésil: Charmant Oiseau
7. Bach-Pavlovich: Biassy
8. Johann Strauss, Jr.: Die Fledermaus/La Chauve-souris:Adele's Laughing Song

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Singer number three:
From the far east we have Wing Han Tsang, popularly known simply as Wing. This now New Zealander was born in Hong Kong and is primarily known for her appearance on an episode of Southpark.

Wing moved from Hong Kong to New Zealand to become both kiwi and singer at nursing homes and hospitals. Not limited by conventional musical ideas on tone, pitch and rhythm she soon became somewhat popular and created a demand for a CD. Her debut is called The Phantom of The Opera and features amongst others... The Phantom of The Opera and is followed by an avalanche of cover records on which Wing brutally slaughters The Carpenters, The Beatles and AC/DC.
In 2007 Wing first set foot on American soil performing at the SXSW festival and had full episode of for mentioned South Park dedicated to her.

Wing: For Those About To Rock (AC/DC)


Wing - Sings More AC/DC
1. Hells Bells
2. For Those About To Rock
3. Eyes Of A Child
4. Feelings

Download - Buy

#25 That's some serious Dan Brown shit

I ran into an article on Cracked (yes the best website in the world!) on how Da Vinci's 'Last Supper' supposedly has a secret hidden musical arrangement.

Sounds like some serious Dan Brown shit huh?
Well by drawing a five line musical staff across the painting, the deliciously looking bread rolls, held by the characters in the painting become musical notes.
Now play those from right to left (because that's how Da Vince wrote) and in a 3/4 time pattern (because the characters are grouped in 3's, there are 3 windows behind Jesus and because 3 is the magic number) and you have an actual melody that makes sense.

Curious?

#23 Beatles Tributes - Part 1

Not a band in the world has had more recorded tributes payed to them then the Beatles. The numbers are way up there in the 100's. Ranging from bands that try to sound exactly like the Beatles, to bands that try to sound like anything but the Beatles (and as I write this I wonder what is weirder).
There's honest tributes that do the songs justice to tributes that should be considered statutory rape. Here's a first selection with five tributes I came across recently.



1. The Woofers & Tweeters Ensemble - Beatle Barkers
I guess this is what you'd call: a carefully thought out bad idea. One that resulted in an incredibly unlistenable album of Beatles covers performed by dogs.
The instrumentation on the record is pretty much kept the same but all vocal parts are replaced by pitched barking sounds. For flavor the responsible people (although not a living human being is taking responsibility on the sleeve) added cats meowing and random barnyard sounds.

My personal favorite: Hard Day's Night a great duet between sheep and dogs.


Tracklist:
1. I Wanna Hold Your Hand
2. Love Me Do
3. Ob La Di Ob La Da
4. We Can Work It Out
5. I Saw Her Standing There
6. I Feel Fine
7. Can't Buy Me Love
8. All My Loving
9. Day Tripper
10. She Loves You
11. A Hard Day's Night
12. Paperback Writer

Download - Buy





2. Count Basie - Basie's Beatle Bag
The Count and his Orchestra bring exactly what you'd expect the Count and his Orchestra to bring: Swing versions of Beatles songs.
Basie in his life did two records with songs of the Fab Four and this is the first one from 1966. Overall this is a pretty great record and I especially like 'I Wanna Be Your Man'. The band seems to have trouble starting up but halfway in they rock the track full throttle.



Tracklist:
1. Help!
2. Can't Buy Me Love
3. Michelle
4. I Wanna Be Your Man
5. Do You Want to Know a Secret
6. A Hard Day's Night
7. All My Loving
8. Yesterday
9. And I Love Her
10. Hold Me Tight
11. She Loves You
12. Kansas City" (Jerry Leiber, Mike Stoller)

Download - Buy





3. Beatallica - Sgt. Hetfield's Motorbreath Pub Band
What do you do if you want to start up a tribute band, but both the singer and drummer want to start a Metallica tribute band while the bass and guitar player opt for The Beatles?
Right! You start up a band that mashes up the songs of the Beatles with the sound of Metallica and re-write both of the band's lyrics so they become funny. The band off course you call: Beatallica.

Beatallica was founded in 2001 and they're still around these days. Internet research tells me they're not doing bad either. Beatallica has played shows all over the world and they've recorded numerous full length albums and EP's.

Interesting fact number 1: In 2005 Sony ATV, the publishing company that own the rights to the Beatles songs where not amused. They send out a cease-and-desist notice to the band and threatened to sue.
The band was saved from legal action by Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich, who offered assistance with legal negotiations and had Metallica's attorney defuse the situation with Sony. Bet you didn't see that one coming from Lars.

Interesting fact number 2: The singer sound just like James Hetfield.

Sgt. Hetfield's Motorbreath Pub Band is Beatallica's first official release.

Tracklist:
1. Sgt. Hetfield's Motorbreath Pub Band
2. Revol-Ooh-Tion
3. Blackened The U.S.S.R.
4. Sandman
5. Helvester Of Skelter
6. Garage Dayz Nite, A
7. Anestesia (I'm Only Sleeping)
8. Leper Madonna
9. Ktulu (He's So Heavy)
10. For Horsemen
11. Hey Dude
12. Sgt. Hetfield's - (Reprise)
13. And Justice For All My Loving

Download - Buy





4.Butchering the Beatles: A Headbashing Tribute
Devilhorns up! This record features over 50 international heavy-metal-heavy-weights. Alice Cooper is there, Lemmy Killmister, Billy Idol, Duff from G 'n R and over 46 more heavy metalists most people have never heard of.

Butchering the Beatles is a full-on metal hommage to the guys from Liverpool. The songs structures are pretty much left intact. Every guitar lick however, has been lengthened to sometime 8-times it's original size to make room for some serious ejaculatory solo-ing. But hey:

THAT'S METAL!



Tracklist:
1. Hey Bulldog - Alice Cooper, vox; Steve Vai, guitars; Duff McKagen (Velvet Revolver / Guns N Roses), bass; Mikkey Dee (Motorhead), drums


2. Back In The USSR - Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead), vox/bass; John5 (Marilyn Manson / Rob Zombie), guitars; Eric Singer (Kiss / Alice Cooper), drums
3. Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds - Geoff Tate (Queensryche), vox; Michael Wilton (Queensryche), guitar; Craig Goldy (Dio), guitar; Rudy Sarzo (Dio), bass; Simon Wright (Dio), drums; Scott Warren (Dio), keys


4. Tomorrow Never Knows - Billy Idol, vox; Steve Stevens (Billy Idol), guitars; Blasko (Ozzy Osbourne), bass; Brian Tichy (Billy Idol), drums


5. Magical Mystery Tour - Jeff Scott Soto (Yngwie Malmsteen / Soul Sirkus), vox; Yngwie Malmsteen (Rising Force / Alcatrazz), lead guitar; Bob Kulick, (Meat Loaf / Paul Stanley Band), rhythm guitar; Jeff Pilson (Dokken / Foreigner), bass; Frankie Banali (Wasp / Quiet Riot), drums


6. Revolution - Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top), vox / guitar; Vivian Campbell (Def Leppard), guitar; Mike Porcaro (Toto), bass; Gregg Bisonnette (David Lee Roth / Ringo Starr Band), drums; Joseph Fazzio (Superjoint Ritual), drums


7. Day Tripper - Jack Blades (Night Ranger / Damn Yankees), vox; Tommy Shaw (Styx / Damn Yankees), vox; Doug Aldrich (Whitesnake / Dio), guitars; Marco Mendoza (Whitesnake / Thin Lizzy), bass; Virgil Donati (Steve Vai / Soul Sirkus / Planet X), drums


8. I Feel Fine - John Bush (Anthrax), vox; Stephen Carpenter (Deftones), guitar; Mike Inez (Ozzy Osbourne / Alice In Chains), bass; John Tempesta (The Cult / Testament), drums


9. Taxman - Doug Pinnick (Kings X), vox; Steve Lukather (Toto), guitar; Tony Levin (John Lennon / Peter Gabriel), bass; Steve Ferrone (Eric Clapton / Tom Petty), drums


10. I Saw Her Standing There - John Corabi (Motley Crue), vox; Phil Campbell (Motorhead), guitar; C.C. Deville (Poison), guitar; Chris Chaney (Jane's Addiction), bass; Kenny Aronoff (Smashing Pumpkins / Jon Bon Jovi), drums


11. Hey Jude - Tim "Ripper" Owens (Judas Priest / Iced Earth), vox; George Lynch (Dokken / Lynch Mob), guitar; Bob Kulick (Meat Loaf / Paul Stanley Band), rhythm guitar; Tim Bogert (Vanilla Fudge / Beck / Bogert & Appice), bass; Chris Slade (AC/DC), drums


12. Drive My Car - Kip Winger (Winger), vox; Bruce Kulick (Kiss / Grand Funk), guitar; Tony Franklin (The Firm / Whitesnake), bass; Aynsley Dunbar (Whitesnake / Journey), drums

Download - Buy





5. Cello Submarine - 12 Cellists Of The Berlin Philharmonic
The almighty internet claims that The Berlin Philharmonic is one of the greatest orchestra's in the universe. Ergo their cello section is one of the best cello sections of the universe as well. If you're wondering what'll happen if the best cello section of one of the greatest orchestra's in the world is playing the most awesome songs of the greatest music group since eternity I suggest you hit the download link. Go!



Tracklist:
1. Yellow Submarine
2. Let It Be
3. Something
4. Fool on the Hill
5. Help!
6. Yesterday
7. Michelle
8. Hard Day's Night
9. Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)
10. Here, There and Everywhere
11. Can't Buy Me Love
12. Hey Jude

Download - Buy

#8 My daughter is sick, my wife is sick and you're talking about coupons?

I recently watched the movie Funny People.
In the opening sequence Adam Sandler is doing a prank phone call that reminded me of the legendary kings of prank calling: The Jerky Boys.

The Jerky Boys is/were an American comedy duo from Queens New York, who were on top of the world sometime in the mid nineties doing telephone prank calls and putting them out on records.
They did well for themselves, believe it or not, these guys sold over 8 million records (that's an 8 and 6 zero's), did a couple of commercials and even made a movie entitled Jerky Boys: The Movie in 1995.

Two of my favorite sketches are "Pablo Honey" (where Radio Head took the name from for their first album) and "Terrorist Pizza" in which they scare the shit out a Pizza Guy by threatening to "bomb his place". Both are from the Jerky Boys 2 album. You're welcome!



Tracklist:
1. Pablo Honey
2. Drinking Problem
3. Pet Cobra
4. Sol's Warts
5. Breast Enlargement
6. Roofing
7. Gay Hairdresser
8. Volunteer
9. Terrorist Pizza
10. Pico's Mexican Hairpiece
11. Little Emergency
12. Sparky the Clown
13. Security Service
14. Sol's Nude Beach
15. Diamond Dealer
16. Sol's Naked Photo
17. Mattress King
18. Ball Game Beating
19. Sporting Goods
20. Scaffolding
21. Sex Therapy
22. Sol's Phobia
23. Cremation Services
24. Pizza Lawyer
25. Fava Beans
26. Husband Beating

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#3: Merry Fucking Christmas or What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)

For this years Sizzer Christmas greeting we decided to create a Christmas jukebox with a playlist consisting of the bad, the bold, the crazy and the weird.
To put it in other words we made a Christmas compilation mainly, Paul McCartney's “Simply Having A wonderful Christmas Time” should be on every compilation, compiled of songs one does not hear on your average radio station.

Searching for these songs was quite an interesting process since nothing in the world has created more novelty tracks then Christmas. One particular recording really stood out for me though, one that's ententitled "Christmas in the Stars" recorded by the complete Star Wars cast.
You see… 20th Century Fox had such low expectations of Star Wars they let George Lucas keep the rights to any sequels, music and merchandise. This led to an uncalled for amount of lunch boxes, action figures, cups, apparel, kitchen items and other memorabilia with the Star Wars logo slapped on them.

In 1978 the Star Wars franchise created a 2 hour Holiday Special. In this Holiday special Han Solo and Chewbacca visit the planet Kashyyyk, Chewbacca's home world, to celebrate Life Day (which I guess is Wookie Christmas) with Chewie’s hairy family.

No matter how bad the Holiday Special was received it didn't stop Lucas to make aforementioned Christmas album two years later.
If you thought The Phantom Manace was bad and you deiced to spend two hours of your life on the Star Wars Holiday Special, trust me it gets interestingly worse with this record.

R2-D2 duets with C-3PO, there are horrible children's choirs are all over the place and aliens seems to randomly pop up in recordings.

Alongside the Star Wars cast this album is notable for featuring the first professional recording of a 17 year old John Bongliovi, who sings lead vocals on the song "R2-D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas."
This man soon became famous under his stagename... Jon Bon Jovi spawning a whole new galaxy of hairy badness.

Thank you George Lucas.

01 Christmas In The Stars (3:19)
02 Bells, Bells, Bells (3:13)
03 The Odds Against Christmas (3:03)
04 What Can You Get A Wookiee For Christmas (When He Already Owns A Comb?) (3:23)
05 R2D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas (3:14)
06 Sleigh Ride (3:36)
07 Merry, Merry Christmas (2:38)
08 A Christmas Sighting ('Twas The Night Before Christmas) (4:07)
09 The Meaning Of Christmas

Download - Buy